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8 Ways to Sabotage Your Homeschool

Dec 7, 2011
Homeschooling Tips

Author: Wendy Young

The power of a successful homeschool journey cannot be over emphasized. Every parent who home schools wants to enjoy the adventure, grow close to their children and have well rounded children at the end of it. But moms hold the power to sabotage their own homeschools and often they do not even know they are doing it. Here are some warnings (and remedies) for homeschooling parents so that you are do not become one of them.

Warning #1 – You have no systems in place

How do you know this is happening? You cannot find your school books, the children cannot find their pens and pencils, your laundry is piling up and you cupboards and fridge are empty.

Solution – Take one afternoon on the weekend to plan your meals, do your grocery shopping, get your books ready for the next week and get your children to make sure their desks and pencil boxes are ready for Monday. Set up a laundry system in your home to make sure that your family has clean clothing and linens.

Warning #2 – Your children take forever to do their work

Some children are slow workers, but many are dawdlers. If your junior grade children are taking more than a 3 hours to do their work or your high schooler more than 6 hours then chances are that they are wasting time.

Solution – Make sure that you are giving your children short lessons so that dawdling is discouraged. Ensure that you alternate a hard lesson for a easier lesson. Take the time to train your children in the habit of attention so that they learn the importance of giving something their full attention and completing work in a timely fashion.

Warning #3 – Your children spend more time on school work than life

If your children are spending more than a third of their day in formal academic pursuits, it is a sure fire way of producing burnout in mom and child.

Solution – Raymond and Dorothy Moore, grandparents of the homeschooling movement, make use of a head, heart and hand principle. They said that a child’s day should be balanced equally between these three occupations. Head refers to academic pursuits; Hand refers to work in and around the home like chores and entrepreneurial activities and Heart refers to spiritual and moral training a parent should impart.

Warning #4 – Your children are allowed unlimited daily doses of TV and computer

Children should not watch TV or work on the computer everyday. It is an unhealthy situation as the stimulus that the brain receives from these two activities causes a dumbing down process where the child forgets how to entertain themselves, play out imaginary games and be productively and creatively busy – to mention just a few negatives.

Solution – Make a list of all the productive pursuits that your child can do and put to when they nag and ask for TV or their computer games. Ensure that you draw them alongside you in your day to day activities – and set the example yourself!

Warning #5 – Mom does not ensure that she is sufficiently rested

When a mom is tired, burnt out and running from play-dates to sports all afternoon and never takes a moment for a quiet cup of tea and a book, she is bound to be tense and overwrought. When mom has nothing left, she cannot give to her children and be a healing presence in her home.

Solution – Mom needs to set aside small moments in her day to take a breather. This can be a chapter of a good book, a walk around the garden, a cup of tea – on her own. It could also mean getting to bed earlier so that she can rise before her family with a small head start on her day. Mom needs to take time out monthly as well, so that she can set her hand to a craft or hobby where she can take off the “homeschooling mom hat.”

Warning #6 – The homeschooling parents talk of nothing but their children

Does it seem like whenever mom and dad go out or have a moment together, all they talk about is homeschooling and parenting? While there is time for that, it is also very important that they take time to remember that their relationship ranks right up there in importance.

Solution – Make a pact that you will do something special together, weekly or monthly, where you do not talk about homeschooling, parenting or household matters. Just enjoy being together.

Warning #7 – Parents control their children rather than build relationship with their children

This is a tough one… isn’t it? We want the best for our children; we want them to be all they were created to be and to achieve much in their lives. But often a parent will go overboard and forget that the reason they are raising children is so that they can be strong valuable members of a community.

Solution – Like a young sapling tree, protect your children as they need it. Train them in moral and spiritual guidelines as you take hold of those truths as well. As they grow and show maturity in certain areas, permit them to begin making their own decisions within the realm of what is permissible to your boundaries as a family unit.

Warning #8 – A homeschooling mom who spend too much time feeding on other lives

I left this for last because this one point can be the single most damaging thing that can happen to any homeschool. When a mom is always comparing herself and her children to what the next person is doing, what the other children have achieved, the projects that they are doing, instead of getting on and living her life with her children, she is bound to become frustrated and defeated.

Solution – Accept the season that your family is in – perhaps you have just had a baby and an in-depth unit study will sent your teetering over the edge! Perhaps your children have special needs and are not able to concentrate for long. Whatever the reason… accept the season. Also remember that each home and family is unique and your family has a specific flavor to it. When you try and bring in another family’s culture to your own, you dilute the beauty of your family.

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Wendy Young is the homeschooling mom to 4 children aged 7 – 14 years. They have always been at home. She has been married for 19 years. Wendy’s website, Homeschool-Curriculum-For-Life, is dedicated to helping moms choose curriculum, get organized, and enjoy the homeschool journey by equipping them as their roles as wives, women, and moms.

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Role Models for Your Teen

Dec 5, 2011
Homeschooling Teens

Author: Rachel Paxton
ShareBy the time your children reach their teens, there is only a limited amount of time left to influence them and get them started in life in the right direction.

The teen years are a critical time for role models in your children’s lives. Often you will find teens have a hard time talking to their parents. This isn’t always the case, but even in the closest families, teens often feel more comfortable talking to another trusted adult about some of the things going on in their lives.

Of course you would prefer your teen would go to an adult when they need to talk something important out, instead of relying on their friends who may not have the insight an older, more experienced adult would have.

Obviously you have no real control over who your teen goes to for advice, but there are a number of ways you can steer your teen in the right direction.

The best chance your teen has for interacting with other adults is in extracurricular activities. There are all kinds of activities your teen can be involved with, here are some that come to mind: church youth group, scouts, sports, music, school clubs, community service, just to name a few. Personally I don’t encourage parents to involve their teens in so many activities that it leads to burnout for both the parents and the teen, but carefully selected activities led by good and capable leaders will enrich your teen’s life in a way few things can, and will increase the likelihood that your teen will establish a relationship with one of the group leaders.

One word of caution, however. Talk to your teen about their activities and get a feel for yourself the effectiveness of the group leader. Not to say that they have to excel in every way, but just make sure that they are a good role model, and not a negative influence in your teen’s life. There is the potential of bad leaders in any activity, including in a church setting, and it is the parents’ responsibility to make sure their teen is in a positive atmosphere, influenced by mature leaders.

Involvement in group activities is especially great for teens of single parents. Teens who don’t have regular contact with mature adults of both sexes often have a hard time later in normal adult relationships. Being exposed to “normal” at this age very much increases the teen’s chances of growing into a well-adjusted adult. I have seen this often with boys who are raised by their moms with not much influence or negative influence from their dads.

Placed into group settings, with responsible adult male leaders, these teen boys have much less difficulty transitioning into adulthood. It also takes of a lot of the pressure off the often overworked mothers.

From my own experience, I have found that often other adults can help my teen in ways that I can’t, mostly due to big differences in our personalities. I am more of a quiet introspective thinker, and my daughter is very outgoing, and has a lot of potential leadership qualities that are hard for me to help her develop because I do not possess those qualities myself. Knowing how important it is to help her develop her natural abilities at this impressionable age, I make sure there are other adults in her life who can help influence her in ways I can’t. My daughter and I are very close, but there are just a lot of things that I can’t help her with, so I encourage her in developing relationships with adults who do have those abilities.

My daughter and I both respect our different abilities. It is very easy to be critical of people who are not like us, and parents and teens very easily fall into this trap. The best thing to do is be honest about your own abilities, and of the abilities of your teen, and do whatever is necessary to find outside influences for your teen. The more you can help your teen develop their abilities now, the less they will have to do on their own later (often, the hard way).

And don’t forget, you are a role model too. Get involved in the lives of your teen’s friends, or volunteer to help in a group activity in some way, even if only occasionally. There are teens out there who really need to hear what you have to say.

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Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of five. For resources for the Christian family, including parenting, toddler and preschool activities, homeschooling, family traditions, and more, visit http://www.Christian-Parent.com

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Mimi Rothschild Brings You “When Your Homeschooler Does Not Like School, 8 Steps to Re-fit Your Program”

May 4, 2010
Miscellaneous

Mimi Rothschild Brings You “When Your Homeschooler Does Not Like School, 8 Steps to Re-fit Your Program“

 Author: Lily Ann
There is something you can do about it and that’s what makes homeschooling successful. When your child tells you that he doesn’t like school, you know the program doesn’t fit.  Just like when a shoe pinches, it’s time to get a new one.

Your child will start showing signs when he does not like school. Red flags may appear in his attitude, action, and work. He might even come out and say he doesn’t like it with words that none of us like to hear. He might just be having a bad day. But when the problem continues day after day, it’s time to do something about it.

Step one - Completely ignore the undesirable actions, as long as he’s not hurting anyone.  He doesn’t need any attention, negative or positive, as a reward.

Step two - Recognize with in yourself that it’s not working for him, and you need to make some changes.  Keep it to yourself, don’t tell him about it just yet. Think back over the last few days, or weeks. At what times, in what subjects have these signs been showing up? Try to make as complete a list as you can.  If there was a final blow up, what triggered it? Write down all your findings and conclusions.

Step three – Take a break. Stop school for a day. Do something the child enjoys. Now here’s the most important thing.  Don’t connect it in any way to the bad behavior of the child.  Make up an excuse. “Aunt Betty needs some help today. Let’s take the day off and go visit.”

Step four - Call the  family together when every one is happy and there are no pressing emotional issues. The dinner table would be a good time. It’s important at this stage to keep a positive discussion. Start with one person, preferably one that has been having a good time at school. Ask “what do you like about school?”  Write down the exact words of the answer. Ask another child and write down the answer.  Continue until everyone has given two or three answers.

Now ask “What can we do to make school better?” Again, make no reference or connection to the targeted negative behavior. Write down the suggestions even if they are unreasonable or unrealistic. Children have big imaginations.

Step five – Take the child aside to a private place where you can be alone with him. This is between the two of you. Ask him for specific reasons why he’s done what he’s done or why he does not like school. Keep this private.  He doesn’t need everyone giving their opinion or criticism. Ask what subjects are hard, which are easy.  Are lessons too long, not plain, or is there not enough time. Write everything down.

Step six – Using all the data you’ve collected, let the child help you come up with a new schedule.  If he’s suggested things that are out of the question, like having recess all day, explain that it won’t work. Allow a little longer time for subjects and projects that he enjoys. Take each of the other children in for a similar private conference. They don’t have to do something bad to get a little of your time and attention.

Step seven - Write up a new school schedule with the whole family.  Let them know what changes will be made.  Thank them all for their help.

Step eight - Make the new schedule happen as close to the way you wrote it as possible.  Don’t let yourself slide back into the old habits.

Lily Ann is a mother to six bright children. She has enjoyed great success in the area of homeschooling. She is always looking for ways to improve and loves to learn new things.

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Mimi Rothschild Brings You “5 Steps to Beating Burnout”

Apr 29, 2010
Miscellaneous

Mimi Rothschild Brings You “5 Steps to Beating Burnout“

Author: Pat Fenner
Homeschooling can be a physically exhausting undertaking. Even for those who have been “in the trenches” for years and are firmly rooted in their commitment, there are days or seasons when the homeschooling parent – and in most cases we’re talking moms – tire easily or frequently.

Burn-out is usually characterized by, among other things, low frustration tolerance, an inability to focus, loss of interest/joy in activities, and of course, low energy or enthusiasm. If you’re finding yourself suffering from some of these symptoms, here are some areas to examine and adjust so you can extinguish exhaustion and get your energy back!

Are you getting adequate quiet time first thing in the day?

I have to tell you right up front – I’m a Christian. The first thing I do each day is spend a few minutes in prayer and Bible reading. Some days it’s not much, but even then, I leave strengthened, grounded and ready to focus. No matter what your spiritual orientation, however, quiet time is useful for getting your act together and getting ready for whatever’s coming down the road that day!

What’s your schedule look like?

Are you planning too much for yourself? For the kids? One of the things that can be most exhausting is constantly trying to get the kids moving to the “next thing”. If there’s too much on the calendar, everybody moves in slow motion eventually – and having to keep pushing everybody can be lethal for mom’s energy level. Some evening, write down everything you have planned for each day of the week, and then take out your red pen and cross some stuff out! I had a good friend who always used to ask me “It’s all ‘good’, but what’s the ’best’?”

Are your sleep needs being met?

This seems like an obvious question, but in my experience, when there’s too much to do in a day, my bedtime is the first thing I push back – bad idea! You know that saying “When mama’s not happy, nobody is”? Well, when mama’s tired, she’s not happy! Take a few nights to experiment with how much sleep you need. If you’re sleep deprived already, it may take more than “a few” nights! Most health professionals agree an adult needs at least 7 hours to function well.

Take a look at your diet; consider vitamins or supplements

Even with a good diet, the foods we eat today are full of hormones, fertilizers and other chemicals. A good multi-vitamin is a must for busy moms; check with your health professional to see if other supplements may be necessary for you.

Do you get outside and get some exercise – every day?

I find that if I get a mid-afternoon slump, my best defense is a walk around the block with the kids, or raking leaves, or a jump on the trampoline. Besides the boost in energy that comes from it, I’m making fun memories with my kids.

If none of these tips work for you, it may be time to see your doctor. Chronic exhaustion may indicate a more serious issue. And your health is critical to functioning at your personal best. Homeschooling demands our best, even in the best of health, and no matter what your reasons for homeschooling, don’t you want to give your family the best you can?

Pat Fenner offers encouragement to homeschoolers.

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Mimi Rothschild Brings You”God’s Love Shown Through One Baby Girl

Apr 28, 2010
Miscellaneous
Mimi Rothschild Brings You

“God’s Love Shown Through One Baby Girl”
by Rebecca Springer

I was married at the young age of 18 and began my family before that. I tell most people that I loved life so much I that I hurtled right over into it. By the time I was 19 I was expecting my second child and I could never be happier. It all happened so fast that it takes me a minute just to remember the details. It is time for my husband and I to go to the doctor and I am so excited they plan on telling me what sex the baby is. I am sitting in the waiting room with anxiety, my legs are bouncing and it seems like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I can’t hurry fast enough into the sonogram room when they call my name out loud to come back. “I am here let’s hurry and find out. Can that be the first thing you look for please I really want to know?” I say very impatiently.As the doctor comes in the nurse turns to him and has a look on her face that I can’t seem to get out of my head. He looks at the sonogram and sits what seems like ever so slowly in his chair and I remember a tear beginning to trickle down the side of my face. Something was wrong. He turns the monitor toward him as to get a better look at the screen. Than I hear the news that no mother wants to hear when she is pregnant. The doctor says he wants me to go see a specialist because he sees an abnormality with the baby’s heart. I beg him to tell me what it could be with no avail. I leave this day with sadness surrounding me and I feel as all hope is lost.

I wait nervously in the waiting room feeling tears whale up in my eyes, with all the ‘what ifs” going through my head. All I can do from breaking down is asking my husband to hold me. We are called in and we have to wait no longer Dr. Tabor is all ready waiting on us. The sonogram is confirmed the baby is missing the left ventricle of the heart and has fluid build up on the brain. Dr. Tabor stops in mid sentence and tells us that it is not too late to terminate the pregnancy if I should feel that this is too much to bare. My heart is broken I knew at this very instance that I didn’t want to loose my child. Dr. Tabor goes on to say that he wants to do an amneosynthesis to check for chromosomal abnormality. We agree and when it is done we leave there with 2 options. To terminate the pregnancy or to continue with the pregnancy with prayer that things may change.

It was not till later on this day that I went to church and asked for prayer. It is there that I felt like all would be ok. I felt God’s presence surrounding me in a way I never felt before. My husband at my side holding me up my preacher at the other I felt at peace when something that had never happened to me happened. A sweet little old woman began to speak in a way that no one understood. We looked at her in amazement by the way she spoke in these tongues. And then it happened. I man came forth and made himself known and began the prophecy. It was spoken over me that God himself would take care of this situation and that I need not worry for this child is in the palm of his hands. I had to turn this over to him. “Do not be afraid, nor fret my child. You lean on me and let me have this. This burden is not for you to carry.” I laid it at the cross that night. I would worry no longer but I would continue to go to the to high risk specialist with hope in my heart

On my very next visit to Dr. Tabor the nurse is amazed by what she sees. She has to call the doctor in to confirm. The fluid that surrounded the brain is down a considerable amount. I am filled with delight, joy and I began to cry once again. Only this time it would be with an over coming sensation of relief. The results from the amneo came back and all looks well. The doctor praised me for not even blinking an eye when it came to the decision of keeping the baby. Then I finally hear the news that I have waited to hear since my last visit with my regular doctor. My husband and I are being blessed with a baby girl.

Each visit to the doctor we received better and better news. We praised God each time saying you are an awesome Father and we can’t thank you enough for the miracles you are working in our lives, for the love that you are pouring upon us. At one of the last visits before I gave birth to my daughter Dr. Tabor stands in shock as he looks at the screen and sees no fluid around the brain. He has no words to describe what has happened. He seemed so sure of the words he had told me so many times before that she would be born with pressure on her brain caused by this fluid and now it is no longer there. “For lack of a better word I am stund and speechless” he says to me with a look on his face of what is happening. He moves on to say that when she is born they will have to do surgery on her heart but this is a common procedure and all should go well. Once again I leave with a since of relief, hope and pride that my God works in many ways.

My beautiful baby girl, Emyli, was born on April 4, 2002. I had longed to hear her cry out but there was nothing not a sound made. I prayed and cried out to God please make her cry I want to hear my child and in that instance Emyli cried hard and long. My love burst from my chest across the room and met with my child. They rushed her out and with a glimpse of her I knew again something was wrong. Hours go by and I hear nothing no one has come by to tell me what is going on. Her doctor finally makes an appearance in my door way and ask if he can sit. He comes in and tells me the horrifying news. Emyli has been born with no eyes but to everyone she looks like she is sleeping, the bone in her nose that allows her to breath has not separated, she is missing her pituitary gland and the left ventricle of her heart. She was born with septo optic dysplasia. I was broken.

Three days later my precious daughter passed away. I cried and I begged God for an answer. “Why God!!! Why did you take her from me? Why did you lie to me and say that you would take care of her and that I didn’t need to worry God!!!! WHHHY!” I was crushed and angry. I felt as if God had let me down. At Emyli’s funeral many people came from all over. I had never seen some of these people. I kept asking myself “who are these people?” “Why are they here?” I wanted them to go away. They had no right to be there they didn’t know me or my child. I kept repeating it in my head over and over again “Just go away.” “My baby is here I see her, I want to hold her, smell her, and I want to take my baby home.”

I became very withdrawn from God. I became so withdrawn that I wouldn’t attend church, pray, and I locked my bible away in hopes that I would never see it again. Soon I wouldn’t sleep in fear that I would have the dream that I had had over and over again. ‘A man calls out to me in a distance. When I turn I see him and he is holding my baby. He says to me “Becca I don’t understand if you want her fight for her just come take her from me.” I would walk forward. The faster I walked and then ran the further away he seemed. There was no end and no hope to catch him.’ I tried so hard and ran so fast that even when I woke up in the morning I would feel like I just ended a race.

One year went by and I learned that my husband and I were expecting another child. I cried myself to sleep that night wondering how I can give birth to a healthy child and love this baby as much as I had missed my Emyli. In that night my dreams had changed. ‘A man calls out to me in a distance. When I turn I see him and he is holding my baby. He says to me “Becca I don’t understand if you want her fight for her just come take her from me.” Then I hear a voice a tiny little voice calling out “Mommy no don’t.” When I look to my left I see another man that shines so bright I can hardly see and walking hand in hand with a beautiful little girl. She again cries out “Mommy I am here. That is not me there in his arms I am here. I am with Jesus please Mommy don’t run anymore. I am here.” When I turn to walk away from the man that is standing in front of me he drops the blanket that has been in his arms and nothing is there just as my little girl had said.’ When I wake up that morning I knew that I have been chasing nothing and that my Emyli is where she belongs “sitting at the feet of our Lord”. I realize that God did do exactly as he said he would do. He did take my daughter and welcome her home. I also realized that he sent her here not just for me but for everyone to hear her story.

I began to open the letters that were sent to me after her death and again reading them but this time listening to what they said. Letter after letter I read how Emyli had touched their heart and brought them closer to God. How just being at her funeral they asked God to be their hearts and number in their lives. I was touched and new that Emyli touched each and every person that was there that day. Her body had lain in a casket lifeless but her spirit had moved across the rows of people. God’s spirit along with hers and finally into people’s heart. I still have each letter that was written to me and I like to read over them now again to show me that God can move through anyone; even a child. This is my daughter Emyli’s story of how God’s love is shown through one baby girl.

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