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1. Roxine Williams  •  Jan 31, 2010 @9:34 am
   

   I appreciate being reminded of this. Very rarely do we get encouraged to be good encouragers. We are told to be many different things, but this role is not something that everyone thinks is important. In fact, it is in how people look at it. Some would think that we are encouraging our children to not do as well as if they were in school by spending time reading the Bible. We know it is important and it is helpful but we do not always get encouraged to do that either. It feels frustrating that the two things that God has shown me are the MOST important things that I can do in the lives of my children are seen by others as unimportant and actually criticize me for doing it. I know I care more about them than those that judge me. Do they really want them to be successful in the world’s standards, to have plenty of money at a great paying job (like they have)? Is that the motive in their hearts or do they even care at all? I wonder. I feel that they are sent by God sometimes to see if we are caring more about what they think or what He thinks. I don’t want to see my children miss out on a great education filled with opportunities to learn important facts and get prepared for a great career if that is what God has for them, but that is so empty if they have only to look back on their whole upbringing and family life as one of being driven and graded.

   I know plenty of failures at life that had that kind of upbringing and have sought to raise my children with support and encouragement for the successes that they DO accomplish and try not to focus on what they do not or have not YET accomplished. It is hard when even Christian curriculum attaches grade levels to workbooks and is forced to do testing and then the grade level gives the child an idea that they are BEHIND and not keeping up with their PEERS. We are paying quite an expensive bill now due to a child that did fall behind when his little brother was born and needed surgeries. He is a 7th grader doing 5th grade work at the tutoring office. The instructor told us that the main thing they help with and see that works the best is that the child gains confidence because they learn to feel good about their work. It is always positive. They do not tell the child what grade level they are working at. It is geared individually for them and they move on so quickly because they do not have that negative self image.

   I think that the main thing that we learn as parents is to allow others to help our children as the need arises. The environment of positive encouragement includes feeling positive about our choices for our children too. Sometimes the way that homeschooling articles are written (and I don’t know for sure if the author intends it, probably not) it sounds like a parent fails if they do not do everything regarding education at home. I think if we expect the school system to change for the positive in our society, we cannot as homeschoolers keep perpetuating this ‘us vs. them’ mentality. We must encourage all parents that they are homeschooling their children whenever their children are home…which is all the time in the summer and before and after classroom hours. We get sidetracked into defending something we ought not have to and getting a huge amount of blame and discouragement that would not have to enter in (to have to overcome) if we would always see our role as an encourager to other parents (homeschool or other)… Private school parents feel much the same responsibility as homeschoolers to insure that the LORD is first and foremost in the curriculum.

   I have had moms say to me that used to homeschool and now have their kids in Christian school that she is so grieving the loss of homeschooling and feels out of touch with what her kids are learning. I understand that. Eventually they graduate also and we no longer are there for them always. Hopefully in our encouraging our children, we have provided them with a great ability to allow others to help them and to encourage others to do well at what God has given them to do. We felt forced to have someone help our son with his reading and basic math. It was getting so frustrating for him at home getting disrupted with his little brother and the needs he constantly has. It was not getting easier. None of us were feeling encouraged or able to encourage each other. I so appreciate reading about what the problem is and how we need to get back to the focus on the Lord that He is the Author and finisher of our FAITH and not just of our homeschooling. I know homeschooling is a blessing and and a gift to us as Mothers. I want to encourage other mothers who feel they have let their kids down (as I have many times) to know that GOD is not asking us to be perfect, but to do our best and encourage our children in HIS LOVE and GRACE in the midst of the imperfection and frustration and yes, even in the discouraging times. Thanks for letting me share my heart with you.
   Roxine

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